Today was enlightening to say the very least. I learned a lot about what my ex-husband's family and friends think of me. And the kind's of trash talking they are doing, polluting his mind with rude comments and thoughts of me.
First and foremost, I am out to hurt him and can not be happy for him, and want him back. Yeah ummm I dont think so! What reason do I have to hurt him? I mean really, I care for the man, but dont really care enough to intentionally hurt him. And second, if I wanted him back, I would have gone back. Since June things have been super rough financially, and if I was a vindictive, man using bitch, I would have moved back in with him in a heartbeat, just so I dont have to deal with all these bills and other stressful things. But I didn't, for so many reasons. Number one reason? I dont want to. I dont like him enough to live with him! I know it sounds mean, but why lie?
Second part of that, the I cant be happy for him. Oh, I certainly can, and I certainly am. David knew even while we were married, and during the divorce, and afterwards that I am NOT the one for him. I have always wished him well, and knew there was someone out there for him. I do not know if his new girl friend is the one for him, but I am happy that he has found someone to spend some time with, I am truly happy. Maybe she is not for him, and the one for him is still out there. I dont know. But either way, I want him to be happy, and since I know what he lacks, I would be more than happy to help him do better by a woman. Maybe third time is a charm!
I don't get the hurt him thing though. I wish nothing but the best for him honestly. I want him to step up, pay his child support, spend the time he is supposed to with ALL of his kids, and be the loving dad that all of the kids need. A man that the kids KNOW love him, and not just because he says it.
Second part of the newly found revelations of how his family and friends are anti-Macrina. I am using him. Yeah, that's a new one on me! I would like someone to please explain how I am using him. He's helped my out financially, but no more than the amount of how much child support would be. (Which is a whole other debacle on its own that I do not wish to discuss in a public way) So if me getting him to pay some of my bills while he doesn't give me my child support, then fuck yes I am using him. I do not ask the man for anything, nor do I want anything. Hell he has nothing. As a matter of fact, he was the one that told me that if I started dating anyone, he wasn't going to help me anymore. Ummm manipulate much?
The funny thing is, these people are so kind to my face, and so holy! The word of the Lord is what sees them through their days. Yet they talk about people behind their backs. These hypocritical Christians can kiss my oh so very pale white ass!
My singlehood has no barring on David. I choose to be single because I am not capable of dealing with anyone else right now. I am focusing on myself and my boys. I have so much going on in my life right now that a man is the last thing on my mind. I have been over David way before I left him or divorced him. I have no intentions of even considering anything with him....ever!
That is enough of my ranting for this evening. There has been a lot more I wanted to say, but I forgot them. Oh well. Till next time, Peace, Love and Chicken Grease!
P.S. Someone asked me to write something for them. And since I try my best to think out of the box, and to entertain the teachers, I shall write about something they wouldn't expect. Here is the assignment:
Find an object from your everyday life that demonstrates how the past is linked to the present. Anything goes as long as you can also show its connection to the study of humanities. One example: the calendar we use now is attributed to Julius Caesar of the Roman Empire. You could offer a little history of calendars and state why Caesar’s was adopted and is still in use. Find your own. Examples are everywhere.
Can you guess what I am going to use? Probably would never guess, so I might as well tell you! Condoms.
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