Be quiet for one minute PLEASE!!!

I am trying my best to let go of this funky mood that I am in today, by reading a book. A feat I thought I could accomplish in a fairly quiet and normal way, but then it dawned on be around 2:37 pm, that it was an impossible goal. I have what one would refer to as an annoying child. Not that he is never not annoying, but he is five years old, being annoying is his job. And he is really good at it, he should get paid a little more than just hugs and kisses, this boy needs a raise!

Here are a few things the child has said/asked since he arrived on the door step after school today, which was less than an two hours ago.

• Mommy, Obama has been the President for as long as I can remember, he's gotta go.
• Since God can heal a dog in heaven, if I send my broken Bumblebee toy to heaven, will it get fixed?
• If I put this straw (bendy) in grandmas pool, will she think its a snake and get scared?
• Your hair isnt red anymore, its brown. Did the sun melt your hair mommy?
• I want you to dye your hair purple, like a purple potato.
• Mommy, can I live inside of a box?
• Mommy, why can you stare at the moon and not go blind like the sun?
• Can I call McDonalds and ask them to start selling hotdogs?
• Why can't we buy body parts at the store?
• If you rip off all the legs on the left of a spider's body, can he still wallk?
• Why cant we eat our eyeballs?

The kid has questions like this all day long, and I try my best to answer them accordingly, but as any person who has ever been around kids can tell ya, there is no right answer for some things kids ask. That or the question is too funny, you try to hold in your laughter because the kid is serious. 

The book I am reading is Shit my Dad Says, which is super funking funny! I need to start writing down these random things that Peyton and Elijah have to say or ask, while I am thinking about it.

 Yes, it is Underwear on his head!!