Sunday Ramblings

I have no idea why, but all I can think about lately is the resolutions that I made in 2010. And it made me realize what is going on with me. I lack drive, and I wait for things to just happen versus being a go getter. Which is odd because I have always been a person who has had drive and will do what it takes to get the job done. However last year, hell the last few years I have just been sitting back waiting for life to happen. Clearly life has NOT just happened, the things I have wanted to accomplish have not been accomplished simply because I have been a slacker. 
I just woke up one morning and decided that I was tired of letting life pass me by. I want more for myself and my children, and we deserve better than what we have right now. I don't necessarily mean possessions, although those are nice, I am not going to lie. I just want a peaceful mind and house. 
Being with David has changed me in so many ways, not all bad though. To note however on the negative, I have deprived my children of a lot of wonders and magic, such as a spirited Christmas, they have never been to a church (bad mommy, I know), I just want them to have the happiness that I had as a child. No, my childhood was far from good, but if I grind it down to the nitty gritty, I had a very fulfilling and creative childhood.
Its hard to raise children to be magical and creative when there is a person who is constantly telling them that there is no such thing as magic, there is no reason to celebrate stuff, there is no toothfairy, no Santa, no Easter bunny.  
Wow, this totally got off track!  The whole point is that I have been a lazy ass, and am changing it one step at a time!